Worried sick (2) - William & Charles

In his head he relived the whole situation from once he had made her pregnant. He wasn’t old at the time, she was much older than him however. He could remember how the time had changed after that experience. It wasn’t delightful to think about at all. He shook his head. ”No I’m not allowed to know it. It’s an permanent appointment” he answered and it wasn’t really her he wanted to see. It was his child. He didn’t knew if it was a boy or a girl. He just knew how old the child was. William didn’t want to tell his feelings for Charles, it was so wrong to be in love with another guy. He didn’t understand the feelings either and he didn’t want to look at him either. His heart was pounding so fast that he thought he was going to die of a heart attack and at the same time he had to think about his child. ”Can’t we just give her £150? The doctor and the medics would be paid for then and they would could afford some food and what the child might need” he mumbled.

”Are you sure?” he asked calmly and smiled at him. ”I mean, I would understand if you wanted to see your child, Sir”” he said calmly and would feel like that himself. He had never made anyone pregnant however. He could imagine it to be kind a hard not knowing who one’s child was even though the chance of meeting the child randomly was close to zero. He nodded to the thing about the money ”As you wish. Shall I personally give her the money or should I ask for another one to do so?” he asked and smiled. He was still very calmly

”I’m sure. It’s nothing you should worry about it, it’s none of your concern” he answered and hit the table as he heard Charles’ words. “I don’t think we’ll have to discuss this any further” he said, he was pissed of already. He felt like shit and that he mentioned that about he could understand if he wanted to see his child, didn’t really made the feeling any better. He felt worser than shit. “As I said. The Adviser isn’t allowed to know where she lives either, so a servant that doesn’t know anything should hand her the letter with the money. She’ll be here by noon tomorrow” he answered and stood up. He felt restless. “When you’ve found a person who fits the agreement, you may be so kind to meet me a place we can talk more privately and be ourselves” he said calmly.

Charles gave him a tiny a smile. He knew that William couldn’t talk as he wanted here and when he was that pissed off; the chance that William wanted to know more was huge, but just couldn’t talk as he wanted right now. “As you wish Sir” he said and bowed, while walking out of the door. He was just bowing lightly, but was just bowing his head a bit. He was one of the highest rank employed here. He closed the door and returned 45 minutes after. “I’ve found a place, Sir, if you would be so kind to follow me” he said with a smile and held the door for him. He had of course knocked the door before entering it. Anything else would have been rude.

William didn’t want to talk loud about it, when he knew that the walls had ears too and the chance of his brothers or sisters coming here was more average than many other places on the castle, they had to read to make themselves smarter as it was expected from the royal family. “Good then” he answered and hid the letter away. He looked at his book, he wanted to finish it and maybe he could if he started to read now. He always liked reading about English history. He just finished the book and placed it on the right place before Charles came back. “Thank you, I’m just behind you” he said without looking at Charles, his heart was pounding so fast just with the sound of his beautiful voice. He didn’t know what it was. He knew he was in love – though he never tried being in love with someone before – and especially not a man! He couldn’t understand it had to be a man he loved. He had read about this king who was executed for being with another man and he knew that God forbid this love. William was a Christian; it ran deep in his veins. But it still made him sad to be with Charles and that letter didn’t make anything better. He couldn’t just stop thinking about, that he had a sick child out there somewhere. His day couldn’t be any worser than just that.

Charles nodded to the thing about William being right behind him and started to walk. He found a more solitary place at the castle; here the opportunity to talk existed. As most old castles, Buckingham Palace had a lot of secret passages all over. Charles knew all about the corners f the castle, but that was a kind of obvious – as the royal advisor he knew where most things were. He was sure William knew the castle as well, because he probably played around at the castle when he was younger. “Better” he asked and smiled at him. He didn’t knew about Williams feelings for him and right now it was probably good for William that he didn’t. Charles knew as well it was a sin and he was also a Christian. He just broke the rules more than others did and he had never really understood why there were rules about that.

William began to follow. He knew everything about the castle. He had played everywhere when he was a child and he had found a lot of places to hide. He had found some of those places with his brother, but he mostly went out looking for places to hide for himself. He liked the castle a lot. William sat down, when they were there. He bid his lips. ”Yeah it’s better. The walls don’t have ears here, because no one really knows this place” he said and looked a bit around. He had been here before, but he always made sure to introduce himself to the room he was in. Neither did he want to tell Charles his feelings. He wasn’t stupid, he knew it could be really bad for him to tell them and he knew that it was impossible that the feelings were returned. ”I don’t understand that my child is ill” he mumbled, most of all to himself and tied his fists. He wasn’t that often sick, but of course he didn’t know about the mother. “And the letter doesn’t say how serious it is.” he continued to mumble.

Charles was sitting squat and looked shortly at William. He just listened to what he was saying, first of all he didn’t really know what to say and second of all it also sounded like William needed to talk with someone about this. ”I could find out where she lives for you, Sir. If you want it yourself of course” he said and smiled at him as he looked at him. He actually wanted to help him with this, they were kind of friends and at the other side he was his advisor. He just didn’t really know anything about the case

William looked at Charles before looking away. He couldn’t help thinking that Charles was sitting too close to him, right now he was just happy that Charles didn’t touch him. He looked shortly at him, when he said that he would help him. He wasn’t stupid; he knew that it probably wasn’t for free. “What do you get out of it?” he asked and looked him in the eyes, his own eyes was very sad and evasive right now. He wanted to see his child, no matter how he had to dress up like and even if it was just for a second. It would still mean that he knew how the child looked and he would know if it was a boy or a girl.

”Right now I’m your friend not your advisor, Sir. You can owe me later instead of giving me money, I don’t need that” he said calmly and smiled at him. He wanted to have a hold of him, so he could allow himself to seduce him one day even though it was kind of dangerous. Especially if William had anything against it, ut right now Charles didn’t really care about it. It had its benefits being the adviser for the prince and especially when the prince was beautiful and charming – which this prince was. “You of all should know that my family don’t need any money, so call it a favor between friends and I know you’ll do me a favor back one day” he said calmly and nodded a bit for himself.

”What should that favor be?” he asked calmly. “If you need something right now” he continued and just stared at his smile for a while, which made him look down. He could feel his heart aching when he smiled just like that. He didn’t see himself as beautiful and charming, he was just himself. He wouldn’t see it as a hold right now but he didn’t know how Charles was thinking neither and he didn’t know that he could think like that at all. William saw his chances with Charles as nonexistent He nodded “If you say it, but yeah, I know how things are with your family and your economy. You’re not in the group of people that don’t have anything at all” he answered and looked at him again. “How will you find out of it?” he asked. ”It shouldn’t be gossip in London at all, no one are allowed to know. And my fiancée should not know it at all” he said.

”I don’t need any favor right now, but you can owe me one” he said calmly and with a gentle voice. He nodded while he looked back into his eyes and he could see that it seemed to haunt him a lot. He could understand him in some way, but luckily for him it wasn’t himself that had this kind of trouble and for that he was happy. “That’s it. So I prefer to call it a favor among friends” he said calmly and with a gentle voice once again. He could understand if William didn’t thought he had a chance when he didn’t show that he was into guys too, but there was no doubt that he was into girls, beautiful and attracting girls. What he did with them and how far he’d go, no one knew, he was kind of foxy when it came to that. “I have my methods Sir. Don’t you worry about that” he said with a smile and nodded to the thing about his fiancée. “Your secret is safe with me and especially on the thing about finding information about your child” he said and smiled gently and warmly at him.

”Hmm.. alright.. we can agree on that” he answered and watched Charles a bit. In some way he longed for Charles embrace, he wanted to hide into his chest just for a while. But he couldn’t do that at all. He didn’t even like when Charles touched him. It made his heart pound so fast that he was certainly sure that he was going to die. He was becoming better to handle his problem as he grew older. When he was 13 he didn’t know what to do about the whole pregnant thing. He had learned a lot since then. “Then we’ll do it like that” he answered and bid his lips a bit. William would never had guessed that Charles was into men. But it wasn’t something to show at the time and not in public at all. “That’s a deal then. As long as they’re effective I don’t really care about what you’re doing. As long as people don’t die of course.” he said calmly.

He smiled at William without knowing how it would affect William if he had knew he would already have used it against him because he already had a hold on him, but he didn’t know it. “Good. Your secret is with me, and only me” he said with a smile and stood up, which made him touch William slightly with his hand at William’s knee without doing it on purpose at all. “No one will die. I promise you. I’m not that violent” he said with a smile and looked at him. He didn’t realize that had touched him slightly.

He bid his lips when he got that smile from Charles. He was glad that Charles didn’t know about it. That Charles didn’t know it all made his life so much easier. He nodded a bit. “I know it is” he answered calmly. ”My power is still greater than yours so if you do anything you shouldn’t I would still be able to send you out of this great country” he answered calmly. He felt the slightly touch on his knee. His body started to tremble and his heart started to pound faster and harder. He pushed himself away from Charles – far away. “I know that you aren’t that violent. But you never know..” he said and tried to be calm, but it was hard. He couldn’t stand his touch at all.

Charles saw that William bid his lips, but wasn’t sure what the actual reason was. It was just a smile. “You’re threatening me, Sir. It’s just a secret and I’m your friend after all” he said calmly. He was a bit surprised that William pushed himself away the way he did it. He didn’t know why, but it slightly came to his mind that he had touched him slightly. Maybe he reacted that fierce because he didn’t like the feeling of another man touching him because it was wrong or because he actually liked it and didn’t want it to be visible. “You can trust me” he said calmly and handed Wiliam his hand. “Are you alright?” he asked and smiled at him. He wanted to make sure that he actually was okay.

”I don’t trust people that much, not even if I’m friends with them. In the end you don’t know if the friends you actually have are your real friends” he said. He had experienced that his friends was fake so any times before, so he didn’t dare to trust other people – and didn’t want to either. He didn’t even trust his own brother or fiancée. He tried to make his body relax, but it was difficult. It was trembling constantly and his heart was trying to kill him by pounding so hard. Of all people in this world – why Charles? He despised it! He just sat there looking at his hand, it was tempting to take his hand and never let go of it anymore. Hide into Charles body, just being fragile. How much he wanted to try it, just how much he didn’t want to either. He wanted to have those big arms around him, feeling saved but also fragile. It took awhile before he actually answered his question, because all his focus was at Charles hand. “I… uhm.. I feel fine” he whispered, but he didn’t dare to take his hand.

”That’s right. But you’re prince; in fact you’re the crown prince so you have to be more careful than most people do” he said calmly, he did really understand him at that point. Charles was his friend, but at the same time Charles would use him if it was for his own benefits, if he could until something else happened. The sickness called love, was something he preferred not being affected by, but he didn’t ran away from it if it ever should happen, after all it was hard for him to fall in love. He watched him and realized that William was shaking, but he still didn’t know what it was before he realized how long it took for William to answer his question. He took his hand and dragged him up. “You don’t need to keep sitting down there, Sir” he said and smiled at him while he had a twinkle in his eye because he knew what was wrong with William now, but he only suspected that William was in love with him but he still saw it as something positive.

”Yeah, I’ve realized that” he anwered calmly. At a early age he had learned that he didn’t have to trust all people and he had really learned his lesson. He didn’t walk around calling all people his friends. William would be capable of using Charles, if he had the chance to do so. But it wasn’t something he could do right now. He felt that being in love was like taking poison, and when that crush became love you were already dead. He hated the fact that it was Charles that made him feel like that – why couldn’t he just be normal? A part of him wished that he wasn’t into guys at all – not was the crown prince and not had a child; that he had never seen before. He pulled himself of by the help of Charles’ hand and hurried to let go of his hand, he didn’t want to touch him. He slowly stopped to tremble. “No, I guess I don’t need that” he answered and looked away from him. He lookd at his feet and just wanted to leave. He didn’t know that Charles knew about his feelings for him.

”If you say so Sir, but I disagree with you” he said with a smile, and suppressed a laugh when he realized how he pulled himself away that way. Charles knew that William was in love with him now – or he knew at least that William was into guys. But h wouldn’t say anything before William was drunk, because then he was sure that William would remember nothing the day after and he really needed to make sure that William couldn’t remember it. Charles was a very patient man, so he didn’t need to hurry with it though he was smiling within over the experience of finding out that William was into the same sex. “So what are you going to do now?” he asked calmly and looked at him.

”I know that you disagree. It’s good that you can have different opinions then” he answered calmly and could see that he suppressed something. William would remember it all too well if he was told now that Charles knew his secret. But he found it hard to remember anything once he was drunk. He was lucky if he could remember anything, but it happened really rarely. “I don’t really know. I don’t need to talk with you about what happened that night. As long as you’re able to find my child, then I’m satisfied” he said and looked down again. He shortly looked at Charles to send him a smile, but it was most of all forced.

”I know that” he said with a smile over his lips and looked at him a bit. He saw the way he smiled and he knew it was a very forced smile. “Maybe you should have a drink on this whole experience?” he suggested. The reason he asked was that he would need a drink himself if he had to go through this whole experience. Another reason was he wanted to know what happened that night at that party. But that was something else

He shortly looked at him and nodded a bit. He knew that Charles knew it was a forced smile. He didn’t do anything to hide it either. He could easily pretend that he was happy if he should – but he shouldn’t right now, he didn’t have any reason to either and he wasn’t the type who had always had a wide smile on his lips when he was with Charles. He couldn’t control it, when he got alchohol. “Well… one drink wouldn’t hurt, I guess” he answered and nodded a bit. He was aware that he couldn’t control it, but he didn’t count on becoming drunk

”That’s what I thought” he said with a smile and nodded before he began to walk. He was sure that wIlliam wouldn’t ever say no to alcohol. It wouldn’t look like him. “I’ll pay for it then, and then we’ll see how far we go” he said with a smile. He knew that it wouldn’t look weird that walked aside and talked to each other. They did that so often, that it couldn’t be odd for anyone. “So will you join me and go t the city of London?” he asked calmly and wanted to fulfill his wish and seemed to be friendlier than his ulterior motives.

He started to walk after him. William couldn’t say no to alcohol at all. He liked to drink and he did it too often sometimes. His problem was he couldn’t control himself once he got some alcohol inside. “Yeah that’s it. But as long as it’s private. You know, so the rest won’t take notice that I’m there. Rumors shouldn’t spread and we have a room for ourselves” he said clamly and looked around while they were walking. “But yeah, I wanna go with you” he said and bid his lips shortly.

”Of course it’s private sir. Just trust me about that” he said with a smile passing his lips. He knew too well that William wouldn’t be able to control himself. He had experienced it before and it was why he chose that they should be drinking. Because he wanted to know what William was hiding away from him and it was obvious that he did hide something. And he was sure he hid something about his feelings for Charles or something just like that.

”Hmm yeah.. alright. I just had to make sure” he said and bid his lips a bit. He really liked drinking and he could all too fast get too much to drink and he knew it was a weakness for him but also did he know that he became unbelievable loving when he was drunk and more honest than he used to be, no maybe not honest just less careful and more open. William wasn’t proud of having romantic feelings for Charles, but drunk he would at least be able to admit it without thinking about the consequences.

”Well that’s okay, Sir” he said calmly and he could understand William very well at that point. He knew that William was less careful once he was drunk. He had picked up a drunk William in the city before where he had to drag William home. He was sure that he would experienced far more things beyond that this time than he was used to when William was drunk. This came off, that this time he wanted something out of William, but he would be more careful himself, but he would still like to use it against William. Especially if William was the type who couldn’t remember anything the next day.

”Good” he said calmly and kept walking. He didn’t remember that often what he had been doing the day after he was drunk. He could get a few pictures inside of his head and he could remember when people told him, but otherwise he had just happily forgotten most of it – though he had a much of fun too. He opened the door to the tavern once they got there and went to the bar, to get something to drink of course and get to their room. “We expect our privacy, sir” he said to the man and paid him some money for it, as he used to when he wanted to drink alone or private. “And my advisor is going to pay for some drinks, so I let you talk with him now Sir” he said and looked as Charles. He let Charles do the talking. William was always kind to others and he valued other people a lot.